I felt like I had a dementor on my shoulder, sucking the life and happiness out of me. It was at that point I realised I needed to do something about this; that it was no way to live. So I decided to seek professional help.’Sidhartha Mallya has had a unique life to say the least. Born into one of India’s most prominent business families, he has had—from an outside perspective—what many would consider a blessed life. Appearances can often be deceiving, though, and at times what was going on inside was a very different story.In 2016, he went through depression. Something that came as a bit of a surprise to him, given that he seemingly had the world at his feet: he was young, had just graduated from a prestigious drama school and had upcoming film projects. However, despite all the wonderful opportunities that awaited him, he felt desperately unhappy, constantly low and like his insides were being crushed by a vice. That was when Sidhartha realised that something was not right and he sought professional help. Thus began the journey to understanding his current mental state as well as an exploration of the other mental issues he has suffered throughout his life and where they might have stemmed from.In this searingly honest, witty and wonderfully written memoir, he opens up about these matters—struggling with depression, living with OCD, the effects of his parents’ divorce, why he quit drinking—and also what helped him face and overcome his challenges.
